Foggy

Yesterday, it was so foggy downtown

...and the other night as well.

In this season of patience and waiting, here's a word that says I'll get there...

Hot for the cold

The sun has finally showed up today. Nevertheless, here's to the (love) rain that has been pouring since last week!

 People call those rainy days as bed weather. I'd rather call them hot chocolate weather.

Sighs and everything nice

There's an overwhelming number of words, ideas, pictures wandering in my mind and I can't seem to articulate them. Thanks to limited free time and priorities, this lady is keeping quiet. Well, at least, for now.

Locked up Keys

I was on my way out the dormitory yesterday when I remembered that I forgot (the irony, yes) something in my cabinet and so I went back to get it. When I was on my way out again, I was wondering where did I put my keys. I started looking where I usually put them and found none. I assumed they must be somewhere inside my bag, but I didn't bother to look for them anymore because I told my self I should be at the UP Law Library by 1:45pm to borrow books. It was 1:55pm then and sometimes I can't seem to accomplish things when I lag behind my set schedule.

Then I went, walking briskly. As I opened the door, the guard said, "Ang tagal niyong di nagpunta dito ah, Maam!" I looked around thinking he was talking to another lady behind me but there was none. I showed my ID to him. To my surprise, he said "Akala ko po Law student kayo." I just smiled and went ahead, still in shock. I finished my transaction faster than I expected but I was almost running to my next stop: my secret study place.

Anyway, fast forward. I was really excited for the youth service because it was my first time to attend since I got sick. Also, because the topic is about womanhood. The message was great! I'd elaborate on that next time. I missed a lot of people! I just found my self saying Hello to every single person I see. Certainly, I was very happy.

Then, after talking to someone, I just found my self...offended. I walked away and was on the verge of crying. I just told my friends I want to buy food and go home, which was also my original plan.

En route to my room, I was looking for my keys in my bag. I really can't find them so I knocked. I heard no response and figured out that the door was locked so I went back to the resident assistant's counter to borrow the spare key of our room. When I got inside, I searched for my keys all over the place. Still, I found none. I believe they were inside my cabinet. I tried to remove the screws of the *insert the name of that thing where you put the padlock on* using my scissors but it was so difficult. When I got tired, I stopped and resolved to borrow a screwdriver of the maintenance Kuyas the next day.

I lied down in my bed and I started crying. I was still offended and my keys are locked up inside my cabinet. I can't move on. I was asking God about a lot of things. That was one of the nights when I cried my self to sleep.

I woke up with chinky and painful eyes. I love having chinky eyes, but painful…no. I can't even seem to open them. It was 6:25 am, the sun was rising. (Since I got sick, I wake up just in time to watch the sunrise. It's more of a habit now and my body clock is cooperating.) However, I still have to wait for an hour since the maintenance staff starts working around that time.

While I was waiting a while ago, I was praying to God. I asked for His forgiveness because I forgot about the word pause. I just let my emotions overwhelm me.  I was like a brat asking for everything to come my way. I remembered Jesus' answer to Peter's question on forgiving. Matthew 18:21-22 says, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" Okay, this was the first for this day.

Moreover, I can't be anointed and offended at the same time. Last night, I became the latter. This day, I decided to be the former.

So, I borrowed the screwdriver and open my cabinet. There they were, just where I expected them to be. Finally, I can move on with my school work and...change my clothes.

Sometimes it's those locked up keys inside us that hold us from moving on... with the life God has planned for us.